Lao Tzu had written “If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to” and the essence of this sounds wonderful to the ear but may be difficult to instill in the heart. We come to earth to grow and learn beside one another on a swirling, planetary playground of self-exploration. So much of our existence is rooted in play but the overarching reason for this human expression is healing karmic lessons. We must cast off the pain of past lives and who is the best mirror to see this through? Of course, it is with a karmic soulmate.
I danced with a love of this magnitude, like a swelling wave that sent us flowing to one another with inevitable crashes and separations as the intensity of connection rose to new heights. It was passionate, painful, defining, murky, and an energetically/mentally/and physically demanding experience that was a true testament of the beauty that can unfold when showing someone your truest self, ugly parts and all. We met at a time where we both had genuine interest in exploring our connection to the universe but did not quite know where to begin.
Innocent talks became 12 hour long heart-opening conversations as I shed layers of myself, falling in love with someone who wanted nothing more than to learn about me; a confused & flighty as fuck, 24 year old. Our first date came three months into knowing one another, the day after Christmas, as snow blanketed the town we were to meet in which is coincidentally an energy vortex in Colorado. Our date was the most nervous I had ever been in my life because I was sitting across from a person I knew was meant to be with me even if the reasoning didn’t quite make itself known yet. When you know, you know.
A thick energetic tie bonded us whenever we were apart, I could tap into his energy field, we knew how one another felt before it was expressed, and both individually strengthened our intuitions and gifts. When our relationship would suffer, I feared losing my gifts as though this other person was the reason I received them in the first place. Please, if you are reading this, realize that LOVE is the greatest healer and all begins with YOU. I spent my life not really loving myself so the expression of giving and receiving it played the largest part in my spiritual awakening.
The dynamic slowly changed and my need for separation became apparent, like clockwork, always coming as the seasons changed. An imbalanced empath loves to invest in others in avoidance of themselves and I finally started to see it. With partings there were reunions and the cycle did just that – it cycled. The same fears and arguments played out, the same tears were shed, and each invitation to leave would be met with another interaction that reignited our relationship again months later. Each time this would happen, I felt it fate and believed that maybe this time things would magically work out. Newsflash: they didn’t. I began choosing myself over anyone else and because of that, every relationship had changed as well.
My awakening brought forward a call to be honest, to stand up for myself, to share my story, and finally air out the trauma that’s existed in my lineage so I expressed myself accordingly. I created boundaries with everyone but my karmic soulmate – the one person I see now that I needed it most from but the lesson was not complete. Once the lessons had all made themselves known, true separation occurred.
So why am I telling you all of this?! Because this is something every single one of us will or has come across and sometimes people get stuck in the past and choose not to move forward subconsciously. Know that the ending of a karmic relationship is difficult but once the “test” is complete, you will emerge wiser, stronger, and become even more of who you truly are! The final ending and healing of any relationship will cause you to vibrate towards those that can love you whole and more completely because you weren’t able to reach that level of awareness before. Breathe, relax, take time for yourself, and realize that you are always growing for your highest good <3
© 2017, Consciously Blooming